10 TWITTER MOMENTS: FINNEAS IS BUYING HARRY STYLES A MICROPHONE FOR CHRISTMAS

by Jess Grant
12/8/21

Damn! I really thought we'd lost Twitter to Spotify Wrapped forever there! I'm pleased to say the endless mentions of "bubblegrunge" and "audio auras" have subsided, however, and our feeds are finally back to normal service. And by "normal service," I obviously mean weird memes, terrible hot takes, and, of course, our favorite celebrity tweets! Stop everything you're doing, then, as it's time to check out the latest edition of We Are: The Guard's 10 Twitter Moments, starring FINNEAS, Phoebe Bridgers, HAIM, and lots more!

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FINNEAS IS BUYING HARRY STYLES A MICROPHONE FOR CHRISTMAS

IT'S CALLED ROCK AND ROLL, FINNEAS! GODDD! Hahaha! Seriously, though, Harry Styles and his microphone have a loving, beautiful relationship, so I'd honestly be sad to see the cord go. Nevertheless, much respect to Billie Eilish's big brother for looking out for Harry's health and safety!

 

PHOEBE BRIDGERS SHARES HER SPOTIFY WRAPPED RESULTS

Phoebe Bridgers and her Spotify Wrapped results really said, "First things first, I'm emo," huh? LOLLL! Jokes aside, I think those of us in the top one percent of Phoebe listeners can definitely relate to this tweet. BRB, renaming all of my Spotify playlists to "Music for Drowning To."

 

HAIM UPDATE "THE CHANUKAH SONG" BY ADAM SANDLER

"Don't get Omicronukkah! On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah!" I'M SCREAMING? The HAIM sisters delivering a modern spin on Adam Sandler's Saturday Night Live classic "The Chanukah Song" is quite literally everything! Petition for Adam to support Este, Danielle, and Alana on their forthcoming tour, much?

 

LIL NAS X IS THE KING OF WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS

Lil Nas X is quickly becoming the king of wardrobe malfunctions, eh? Just a few months on from splitting his pants on Saturday Night Live, the Twitter icon once again found himself, ahem, overexposed at the Audacy Beach Festival in Fort Lauderdale over the weekend. That Spongebob face, though!

 

JACK HARLOW AND THE MASCULINE URGE

*Hyperventilates*

 

MEGAN THEE STALLION IS READY FOR HER HOT GIRL GRADUATION

HOT GIRL GRADUATION? LET'S GOOO! How incredible is it that Megan Thee Stallion has managed to see her health administration degree right through to the end despite having such a hectic career schedule? No, really, I respect the commitment so much. Megan's mom must be looking down so proud!

 

T-PAIN STILL WANTS TO BUY US A MANSION IN WISCANSIN

I'm sorry, but, music officially peaked that time T-Pain rhymed "mansion" with "Wiscansin" in "Can't Believe It." Usher could quite literally never! It's the fact that I really thought "Wiscansin" was how you pronounced it as a kid, though? LMAOOO! How I miss those more innocent times!

 

CARDI B IS THE CREATIVE DIRECTOR AT PLAYBOY

From breaking the Internet with her cans of alcoholic whipped cream, to becoming the Creative Director at Playboy, Cardi B has been securing the bag and then some this December! And to think we're only eight days in? P.S. Cardi totally needs to get Miley Cyrus to recreate this Dolly Parton cover!

 

KID CUDI AND MERYL STREEP ARE BEST FRIENDS

Kid Cudi and Meryl freaking Streep? NAME A MORE ICONIC DUO! I'm kind of hoping this means Meryl is going to start hanging out with Kid Cudi and Timothée Chalamet on the regular. Can you imagine? Did I also mention how excited I am for Adam McKay's Don't Look Up? That cast list is looking ridiculous!

 

KALI UCHIS HAS THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT

OMGGG! Why did Leo have to do Kali Uchis like this? Hahaha! It's good to see Kali can have a laugh with her fans, though. And, honestly? I think she looks absolutely incredible. Oh, and while we're here, can we talk about how well Kali handled this interview? THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT!

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Sources:
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Jess Grant is a frustrated writer hailing from London, England. When she isn't tasked with disentangling her thoughts from her brain and putting them on paper, Jess can generally be found listening to The Beatles, or cooking vegetarian food.