5 INSTAGRAM MOMENTS: YEEZUS WEPT WHILE MADONNA READ
by Calvin Paradise
6/22/18
Do you ever find yourself wondering how the fabulously talented and wealthy musicians and celebrities of the world live their lives, but are too lazy to stalk them on Social Media like a normal person? Never fear, cause we’ve got you covered. Let’s take a quick look at the happenings from around the web.
NOAH CYRUS THE TRIPLE THREAT
There’s a lot to take in here. I did not know Billy Rae Cyrus had two other daughters. And to find out on top of all this that the youngest of the three, Noah, is a legit triple threat: Actress/Singer/Tattooist.
Apparently this is some documentation of her and boyfriend Tanner Drayton (!?) getting matching JonBoy tattoos. As a practitioner of rash and spontaneous decisions, I respect this move. However, I personally believe that the overall success rate of relationship tattoos is well below 50%, though I have nothing to base this on. The bet here is both parties won’t always be thrilled with their matching tats, but at least they look cool.
OF COURSE THE CHAINSMOKERS ARE THOSE GUYS AT KARAOKE
When they are not making concept albums about a teenages boy’s ideas of love and adulthood after binge watching Entourage, The Chainsmokers are busy collaborating and making hits with anyone and everyone. One such alliance was with your girl Taylor Swift.
Everything about these guys suggests they’d dress up and bring props to sing karaoke.
YEEZUS WEPT
It has been an exceptionally busy past few months for Mr. West. He’s released some exceptional art (Daytona, KIDS SEE GHOSTS), the most boring and uninteresting record of his life (Ye), and made quite a few head-scratching statements. (Slavery was a choice bro, just not the one made by the slaves.)
Regardless of how you feel about Kanye, this clip of him overcome with an emotion makes me forget about all the awful noise surrounding Kim’s hubby. The occasion for this wonderful human vignette was the the completion of Virgil Abloh first show in Paris. Abloh recently became the first African-American menswear artistic director for Louis Vuitton.
I don’t understand fashion, nor do I understand this incarnation of Kanye, but if we can’t take a second to celebrate and dignify these type of moments, what are we even doing here?
A ROYALE WITH CHEESE
If you know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese in Paris, you’re dating yourself. Or maybe you’re just a cinephile, a metric system stan, or a Banksy fan. New York electronic music duo The Knocks are potentially all three.
Or maybe they just recognized what a lewk this is.
LIKE A BEATRIX POTTER
Will close with a bedtime story. Against all odds, Madonna is still conceivably sexy. She can read me to sleep anytime.
We’ll catch you guys on the next Instagram wrap up post. Enjoy the weekend.
Calvin Paradise is not any one thing. The half-hearted vagabond and forgetful luddite currently resides in Los Angeles and how he spends his time is none of your damned business.