Posers: Six Hyped Fail Tracks
by Jess Grant
7/26/12
So a select few sites... one of which may or may not rhyme with 'Bitchdork'... think the following six songs are the best of the week! But does LA Music Blog, BitCandy, agree? NO WAY! Did they negotiate exlusives in exhange for the hype? Maybe.
Truth is, these six grosstastic have a shelf life shorter than Kanye West's heigh without lifts (KW is reportedly 5' 8").
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Storm Queen "Let's Make Mistakes (Club)"
Storm Queen recently stated he wants to “bring the blues back to house music.” Well, he has succeeded, as this song made me cry....................... acidic tears of torturous pain.
Airbird "Free Mind"
For the love of God, someone tell Airbird his Mariah Carey record has got stuck, or I will willingly check myself into an asylum.
How to Dress Well "Cold Nites"
How to Dress Well? More like: 'How to Write Shitty Songs, Whose Shittiness is Hidden by a Shitload of Shitty Reverb.'
TNGHT "Higher Ground"
TNGHT, U R ABSLTE SHT, PLZ GO AWY, KTHXBAI.
Stars "Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It"
Hey, Stars, we have invented a new genre for you: 'Parent Pop.' Seriously, we fell asleep before we even got to the end of the song title, let alone the song itself. Zzzzzzz.
Blood Diamonds "Ritual"
Blood Diamonds couldn't afford to hire Grimes to sing on two tracks on his new EP, so for “Ritual,” he got a shitty soundalike instead.
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Over and out with the Posers, but tune into LA Music Blog, BitCandy, next week for more cheap and nasty tunes, courtesy of 'Bitchdork' and beyond. See you then, suckaaaah!
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