WTF: TIDAL MUSIC. END THE SUFFERING

In case you haven’t heard, NEWS FLASH, this current generation is killing music. It’s a known fact that no one has paid for music since 1999. One in thee musicians is food insecure. Each night, an artist in your city goes to bed hungry and cold. And you stand by like some self-entitled jackass streaming their music for free, willingly taking money out of musicians' pockets. How do you sleep at night? Have you no conscience? No empathy?

The time has come to pay for your sins in actual cash dollars. Only a monetary penance can begin to repair the serious harm you’ve caused. Thankfully, Jay Z is here to help you become a better person. Subscribe to Tidal now, and begin the long road to healing. Watch below to learn more.

(Big ups to Unnamed Insider, the comedian behind this video. I actually did a spit take on the line about Kimye: “He has spent more on her anal bleaching in one week than you or I will earn in a lifetime.”)

TIDAL MUSIC. END THE SUFFERING

Soon as I saw this brilliant bit of satire I immediately thought of one of my favorite South Park episodes. Safe to say it was probably the inspiration for the above clip.

SOUTH PARK  NOT A BIG DEAL

Please subscribe to Tidal now. Only you can help bring an end to their pain.

About Calvin Paradise

Calvin Paradise manages to live a productive life despite a childhood of home schooling and suffering from what some doctors have called the worst case of Groucho Marx's Syndrome in recorded history.