TOP ELECTRO HOUSE - WEEK 4 2014

I'm super upset this week. I don't even wanna talk about it. I'm still reeling from some major FOMO by not being on Holy Ship. It really looked like the best party in the universe and everybody wrote about it on every corner of the internet just 2 shove it in my face. I would've had to have gone into hibernation to avoid such lists as "The Ten Best Pictures You'll Never Get to Experience in Real Life Cause you aren't #Shipfam, Loser" or "Justin Martin's top 400 Vines from the Greatest Event Land, Water, or Air has ever experienced." 

Whatever, I'll just sit on my computer and listen to good music. Close my eyes and dream of the ocean. 

DISCLOSURE - GRAB HER

I hate this video so fucking much. It's so stupid. It doesn't fit with the song AT ALL. This video popped up on every single blog and social network that I waste my days on, and for some unknown reason, I chose to ignore it until it was time to put this list together. It's only on here cause I hate it with so much vitriol that I need to let everyone else know they are wrong for pretending like it's good. Maybe even, the video completely ruins the song forever? I don't understand what was going through their heads when they told this director, "yeah, go for it!" I don't think they know what's cool. They didn't even look like they were having fun on Holy Ship! WTF is wrong with them?

DIPLO - REVOLUTION (FEAT. FAUSTIX & IMANOS AND KAI)

Maybe I'm just an asshole who doesn't like music videos very much? Cause this one doesn't do much for me either. But UNLIKE the "Grab Her "music video, I find it very inoffensive. It's pretty shots of pretty things and it doesn't make me a hate a track that I went into it loving. Diplo's got enough years under his belt to know how to make a music video too (i mean the Major Lazer ones are some of the best in the game). I think he just took it easy this go-round. Ain't got no problem with easy Diplo (I mean, we know thats how u like your women). At least U didn't fuck up majorly, like the brothers Lawrence.

PEGBOARD NERDS - BASSLINE KICKIN

U know how sometimes it's easier to ignore an artist completely instead of listening (because you already have preconceived notions based on their terrible name and u already listen to way too many artists, so maybe u should just ignore this one)? Yeah, well that's what happened to me with Pegboard Nerds! I stand by their terrible name, but I stand against them having terrible music. Because they don't. This track has a fun fucking rattle of a baseline, kept me riding through the whole short blast of a tune. Alright nerds, let's give y'all a shot.

RUKES - MONSOON

I really hope that this is a joke. In fact, it better be. Rukes is the photographer to the DJ stars (that dude who tours with all of them and takes some of the best photos EDM has ever seen). This is his second song. His first was an absurd parody of the Beatport Top 10. This one has GOT TO BE a parody of the Beatport Top 10 (it's just way way way way way (x 100) on the nose).  I tend to enjoy his sense of humor on the twitter verse a whole bunch so i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that this IS comedy-house and not awful, chart-baiting, generic-house.

THE EAGLES - HOTEL CALIFORNIA (LUXXURY EDIT)

Luxxury is all about creating groovy edits from classic rock tunes. His soundcloud is filled with Bee Gees and Foreigner and Fleetwood Mac dance edits. I didn't give him much of a chance before this track. I don't even know why I was possessed to listen.  I don't even like Hotel California. But now I do? I'm emotionally confused. A good edit is worth all the bitcoins, I guess! So wutup Luxxury, let's listen 2 some classic rock 2gether!

KEYS N KRATES - ALL THE TIME (TOVE LO FLIP)

Keys N Krates are a SUPER unique project. They are the only live trap jam band that the world will probably ever see. They incorporate other PPLs songs in super unique ways. Here they take the Tove Lo Flip of Hippie Sabotage 's High All the Time and double flip it. Keys N Krates backflippin' 4 days.

NEOSIGNAL - 1000 VOLTS

Alright, here is a music video I can get behind. For some completely unknown reason, I find that UKF logo in the middle engaging, while I can either look away or pay attention and there's great party footage happening in the background. The guitar comes in about a minute in, just SHREDDING and I'm on board like blog-house was on board with Justice in 2007. Then the baseline kicks in and I stop. I haven't heard anything like this outside of Metal (and WHO even listens to Metal? My friend Brendan. That's IT.)  But, I let the song continue, cause duh, and I realize that this baseline is special and rare, and thus a good thing. I was just expecting something different is all. The baseline grows on you and all of a sudden you're me and you're saying, "i like it! i don't know why, but YOLO." Speaking of YOLO, how was Drake on SNL, anyone see it?

HOLLOW & AKIMBO - SINGULARITY (COM TRUISE REMIX)

I really enjoy Tom Cruise. I know a lot of ppl gave him a bad rap after the Oprah couch thing and all of the Scientology stuff. But honestly, he's a really good actor. I know most people didn't even give the new Mission Impossible a chance, but I think it's the best one. That whole 30 minute sequence in Dubai was INSANITY. Also, apparently he makes really great chill bass based beat music. :)

xxyyxx - beat for my family and people that like Butts Emily Likes Butts

Yah alright., this isn't going to convert anyone onto the xxyyxx train. It's one of his lesser beats for sure. But u should have already been paying attention to him, and if u weren't maybe now u are. Go listen to 'Even Tough,' his song with Giraffage, and enjoy that more.

FEADZ - EASTSIDE

The French are playing Techno (I mean other than Gesaffelstein lol). It's nice to see Ed Banger get out of their convert zone.  There ain't no electro-house to be seen on this track and that's refreshing as fuck. Good work Feadz, make those old man caught in the 2000's pay attention to the 2010's.

FLOSSTRADAMUS - BANNED 3D

The mixtape that came on a USB stick when you bought your own personal weed stick Flosstradamus vaporizer. 30 minutes of Hoodyboyz music. Sure, Floss are playing the best hip-hop in the game, but it honestly wouldn't even matter if this mix were to suck. CAUSE IT CAME ON THE OTHER END OF A GODDAMN VAPORIZER. Also it doesn't suck. It smokes.

BIRDEE - JUST CALL ME

This is some shit that Ed Banger releases on an alternate timeline instead of Feadz (but Feadz is one of the bros so bros before ho's, you knows?). Some French Electro Disco House to get u through your Monday. When it breaks after the build I'm having a party in my fucking desk chair. Just kidding, I write all this shit on my phone.
- Sent from kurt's iPhone

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Thanks for listening to all these picks. I poured hours of sweat and labor into this, and having that go appreciated is one of the most amazing things that could help cure my woes. Y'all are 2 good 2 me. I truly hope that you guys don't hurt too bad from the Holy Ship FOMO u experienced. We can all have a good cry / commisserate over a microbrew at a local bar if u'd like. Just get a group message going on Facebook. I promise I'm in.

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Oh yeah, one more song. lol.

DANCE COHEN FEAT. DINOSAUR PISS - SOUNDBLEED & FRIENDS (MOONBAH MIX)

Soundbleed is my comedy dance party talk show rave. Here is our theme song. I hope you enjoy this just as much as all the other songs listed above. :)

PLUR.  Keep Raving in the Free World.
- KURT

About Kurt Kroeber

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.