TOP 9 BANDS WITH NON-HUMAN LEAD SINGERS

Sure there are dozens of bands in costumes. We’re not talking about that. I guess we’re technically supposed to suspend reality for acts like PPL MVR, GWAR, Mac Sabbath and The Residents. We’re supposed to really believe that these creatures on stage are actually Yeti or monsters or whatever, and their pitch-perfect performances are actually magical beyond words.

But, the truth will always be, like Godzilla, they are just men in costumes.

But that hasn’t stopped a number of other fearless musicians to experiment with non-human frontmen in their bands. To put animals or robots to good work and see what comes of it. Some work, some don’t. Most are metal as hell. We’re glad we know about all of them.

DOGS - PUGTOPSY & CANINUS

Now that’s just cute.

Caninus might have come first, with their dual-Pitbull led barks and growls paving the way for others to come after, but we like Pugtopsy better because Pugs are undeniably cuter. Budgie and Basil are no longer with us so there will be no new music from Caninus, but Pupcake Lövbacken is alive and well, taking the pitbull’s coveted spot as music’s cutest frontman. His adorable little howls, growls, and snorts make for the perfect metal accompaniment. Pugtopsy even have lyrics to their tunes and rip harder than any animal led band has a right to. I may be biased because I own a pug myself but I may actually keep listening to this one

BIRDS - HATEBEAK & DANGEROUS PIGEONS

Hatebeak is the one that really started it all. Waldo, the Congo African Gray Parrot, has squawks heavier than any other bird to ever open his beak. He truly sounds like a demon monster bird straight from Hell. He is backed by Baltimore musicians Blake Harrison and Mark Sloane to hold the title as music’s most iconic non-human. Dangerous Pigeons are buying the formula and changing it up just enough to not seem completely derivative. The cooing of pigeons is remarkably less jarring than the heavy squawking of the more famous bird metal band. But that doesn’t make the band sound any less heavy. HAIL BIRD SATAN.

INSECTS - INSECT GRINDER

And then there’s Insect Grinder, who have successfully sampled the cricket sound more crazilly than any horror movie ever will. Make the Amityville Horror look like a Goosebumps book. Why is metal the perfect genre to use these non-human sounds? I don’t know, you tell me! Either way, bring it on!

ROBOTS - COMPRESSORHEAD & Z-MACHINES

This one is maybe technically cheating because the lead singer of Compressorhead is actually just playing a recording of “Ace of Spades” as sung by Lemmy. But who CARES! THIS IS A ROBOT BAND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. The simulation is real! These guys should be touring stadiums across the world.

In the video below IDM artist, Squarepusher programs the Z-Machines to play a bit more … elegantly.

SOULLESS VOID - ROBERT JOHNSON

Well, he has no soul right, so he can’t possibly be a human.

Sold it to the devil to play the meanest Blues guitar there ever was.

Ain’t that the real question of what makes a man?

ALIEN? - BLINK 182

Sure, the company line is that Tom DeLonge left the band amicably. But with all of his post-Blink-182 research on life from other planets, we have seriously started to question if the former Blink frontman is, in fact, AN ALIEN himself!? Talk about disinformation … push us down one path so we ignore the more obvious one right in front of our faces. “Aliens Exist” wasn’t Tom singing about something he believed, it was him singing about something he KNEW.

BECAUSE HE WAS ONE.

I’ve ripped the lid right off this shit and swung the door right open. You’re welcome America-- Tom DeLonge IS an alien.

Photo by Chris Child on Unsplash

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