RAP SNACKS: A CRITICAL REVIEW

It’s not every day that we delve into food reviews here at We Are: The Guard, but then again it’s not every day that we come across a brand of chips endorsed by our favorite rappers.

What? Yeah. Rap Snacks is a chip company that’s got a hook on a market we’re very passionate about: musician branded snacking. They’ve got Fetty Wap, Migos, Lil Boosie, Fabolous and Romeo Miller’s faces on bags of chips down at the liquor store over by my house. I’m so down.

Rap Snacks started back in 1994 with just one flavor-- Master P Platinum Bar-B-Que. Since then Warren G’s Cheezie Nacho, Dirt McGirt’s Sour Cream & Onion (RIP ODB), and Lil Yachty’s Hot Cheese Fries (amongst others) have come and gone.

Okay, now enough with the history lesson. The real question is are they good?

OF COURSE they’re good. They’re goddamn excellent.  

Rap Snacks knows what they’re doing. Certifiable. Like any good chip manufacturer, they know that you don’t fill that sucker more than halfway. When I first opened the quite large bag there was a brief moment of disappointment as I looked inside. Like, this is all I get? That is... until I bit in and quickly realized that what they lack in quantity, they certainly make up for in the abundance of seasoning they put on every chip.

Seriously, these are some of the most flavored things I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. It’s 2.75 oz of chips with the flavor of about 420oz of any other brand. For $1.49 a bag I call that a bargain in getting your tastebuds tore up.

Let’s break down these flavors a little bit.

FETTY WAP - HONEY JALEPENO

Without a doubt, the best of the bunch. Like Fetty Wap’s sound, Honey Jalapeno has a unique taste that’s a little bit sweet, a little bit spicy, but overall something completely fresh that will definitely have you reaching for the glass of water. I’m not sure I completely understand the water connection/comparison, but I stand by it. Fetty Wap makes people thirsty.

MIGOS - SOUR CREAM WITH A DAB OF RANCH

I’m gonna chalk this one up to not for me. There is something with this chip that doesn’t fare well with my taste. Sort of like how I’ve got very little affection for the rappers on the bag. While I think Migos kinda blow, I’d call their chips more...frustratingly unique.

It’s all worth it though for this jingle the trio put together for their bag of chips:

Apparently there’s a popcorn now too, I’d like to check that out for sure.

LIL BOOSIE'S LOUISIANA HEAT (WAVY)

This is spicier than any chip I’ve ever eaten before in my entire life (and I once ate a Ghost Pepper chip. No I didn’t; I don’t know why I’m lying to you). While the slightly over-flavored nature of Rap Chips tends to crush it if you’re in the mood for a major pop in your mouth, this one works because I literally have to put them down (due to that Louisiana Heat) and can’t just devour the whole thing like I’d normally do. They’re so hot it’s like ordering it double thai spicy.

Here’s a new flavor this chip company should take on-- Nicki Minaj’s ‘Chun Li’ Double Thai.

FABOLOUS - NEW YORK DELI CHEDDAR (WAVY)

Like the Lil Boosie’s Louisiana Heat, these come in wavy formation. They’re solid, just like the man on the package. I would eat his chips. I would listen to his music. No complaints. Deli Cheddar is as solid of a flavor as it gets and these are sure as a hell a top notch chip version of that. Plus wavy is always better than not wavy. Like, a fact. Rap Snacks crushes the wavy game. I’d buy these 10/10 over Wavy Lays or some other bullshit like that. The full flavor on these isn’t remotely overpowering, it’s empowering. Like you could go into a NY Deli and actually place an order without feeling completely overwhelmed and leaving. Yeah, right! Good luck, anxiety!

I can’t help but be reminded of the line from Fabolous’ “Throw it in the Bag” where he says “Mami do the speedie, Daddy do the duffel, Bag full of chips, We ain't talkin' Ruffles.” As a clear chip enthusiast since way back, I can totally understand why they went to him with this.

ROMEO MILLER - BAR-B-QUIN' WITH MY HONEY

These are the OG bag. Once upon a time they were Lil Romeo branded, then Romeo, and now Romeo Miller. Rap Snacks have been loyal to Master P’s son-- as P was their initial brand ambassador. The flavor is excellent. It’s Honey BBQ for crying out loud, you literally can’t do that wrong. You name me one person who doesn’t like Honey BBQ and I’ll show you a fool. While the company may tend to get a bit more experimental with their other flavors, sometimes you just need a consistent one that keeps everybody coming back. 

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If you find any Rap Snacks at your local store, make sure to pick em up and give them a try. I promise your tastebuds will be hype, and the love for your favorite rappers will only increase tenfold by trying each of their flavors of chip. Like, for example, I was always on the fence with Fetty Wap, but now, after eating his Honey Jalapeno chips I’m a fan for life. 

RAPPERS! CHIPS! WHAT A PERFECT MATCH!

More flavors please!

Rap Chips aren’t necessarily available in bodegas nationwide, but they do have variety packs for sale on Amazon, so get buying and you’ll be snacking for sure in about 3-5 days. 

From deep within the murky depths of the Los Angeles River emerged a creature: 50% raver, 50% comedian, 10% Robotcop. Kurt Kroeber doesn’t own a dog, operates Soundbleed (the world’s only dance party comedy talk show rave), and is down to party with you. Come up some time and say “Hey dude!” But definitely make sure to casually drop the secret Illuminati password.