10 TWITTER MOMENTS: CARDI B DOESN'T WANT FRUIT ON HER SALAD

by Jess Grant
6/27/18

Hello, errybody, and welcome to the first of what we hope is going to be many editions of We Are: The Guard's Best of Twitter! That's right, since y'all can't seem to get enough of our recent Instagram Moments bringing you all of the top snaps and stories, we figured that we'd go one step further and bring you a weekly dosage of Twitter highlights to further feed your stalking addiction (okay, your addiction to everything “pop culture”). From beefs to surprise album drops, these 280-character bites can provide us with a fascinating insight into the lives of our favorite artists, so without further ado, get your fingers and thumbs at the ready, as it's time to scroll through this week's happenings from Cardi B, Katy Perry, Diddy, Kanye West, Calvin Harris, and more. -

 

CARDI B DOESN'T WANT FRUIT ON HER SALAD

FINALLY! Someone speaking the TRUTH! What kind of MONSTER wants fruit on their salad?! What kind of MONSTER wants a salad to begin with?! I digress... Cardi B once again proves that she's the real voice of the nation with this highly important tweet. And don't even get her STARTED on those who have pineapple on their pizzas...

 

LIZZO AND BIG FREEDIA ARE TWERK ICONS

Big Freedia and Lizzo?! NAME A MORE ICONIC DUO! This footage of the pair teaming up to perform their recent twerktastic collaboration “Karaoke” at New York City Pride is straight up GIVING ME LIFE! No, really, see those 82K views?! 80K OF THOSE ARE ME!

 

KATY PERRY BECOMES AN ADULT

We all go through important milestones in life. Our first kiss, our first love, etc. Then, of course, there's our first skin tag. The journey into adulthood is never TRULY complete until we locate one of these fleshy little growths, as part-time pop star and full-time goofball Katy Perry was lucky enough to discover last Friday.

 

SERPENTWITHFEET HAS ALL OF THE RUNS

I CANNOT WITH THESE RUNS?! WE DO NOT DESERVE YOU, SERPERNTWITHFEET!

 

CHARLI XCX IS MAKING A PLAYLIST

Hmm, let me think... How about CHARLI XCX, CHARLI XCX, AND CHARLI XCX?! Charli is the past, present, and future of pop music, after all... If you INSIST on some variety, however, perhaps you can include We Are: The Guard's very own Jesse Saint John in there too?! Speaking of the devil...

 

JESSE SAINT JOHN IS A TEASE

*HYPERVENTILATES* Not long to go now until Jesse Saint John is back with NEW MUSIC, and I'm not sure about you, but I'm ready to be SLAYED, BITCH! Okay, so maybe I'm biased what considering he's signed to our label, but don't even act like “MOVE” and “FAKE IT” haven't got you a lidl bit excited to hear what's to come from Jesse!

 

DIDDY FOR HIRE

Demotivational speaker for hire. Available for birthdays, weddings, and bar mitzvahs. Email diddy@nobodycaresworkharder.com for a quote today.

 

PERFUME GENIUS IS A GENIUS

When he isn't busy writing and releasing some of the best queer music of the decade, Perfume Genius is out here dishing comedic meme gold like this on Twitter. If this pic of the late, great Amy Winehouse putting her garbage out isn't the definition of a SCHMOOD, then I don't know what is.

 

KANYE AND VIRGIL GET EMOSH

Okay, so I get that Kanye is supposed to be canceled and all, but you can't deny that this moment between him and Virgil Abloh after Virgil's historic debut Louis Vuitton show in Paris was EMOSH AF?! Also, did y'all catch Kid Cudi, Blood Orange, and Playboi Carti looking like TOTAL SNACKS in Virgil's designs on the runway?!

 

CALVIN HARRIS

The World Cup is here and everyone is EXCITED, although it seems that nobody is quite as excited as Calvin Harris, who this week decided to put years of England-Scotland soccer rivalry to one side after ENG captain Harry Kane announced during a press conference that he'd be celebrating his recent hat-trick against Panama by listening to Calvin's hit single, the Dua Lipa-featuring “One Kiss.” Or should that be “ONE KANE?!” I'll see myself out...

- Until next week, don't forget to follow We Are: The Guard on Twitter for more 280-character goodness! 

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